What to Do When Your Friend Wants You to Recommend Them for a Job - The Muse

What to Do When Your Friend Wants You to Recommend Them for a Job - The MuseWhat to Do When Your Friend Wants You to Recommend Them for a Job You feed your friends cat when shes out of town, and youre always more than happy- OK, willing- to give herbei a ride to the airport when she needs one. But, when a friend asks you to give him a recommendation with your current employer? That request might give you pause.Of course, this scenario is easy to navigate when youre certain that your pal is a perfect fit for your companys open position. Youll march his or her resume into the HR department with a smile on your face and a skip in your step. But, what the heck do you do when you arent so confident in your friends abilities? Can you simply say no when he or she asks you to put in a good word? Should you risk your professional reputation for the sake of friendship? Should you hide on your couch and binge watch Netflix until the whole situation just disappears?Slow down Theres no need to hi bernate in a panic yet. Here are four simple steps to pull you through this delicate matter- without losing your friend. 1. Determine Why You Feel This WayFirst things first, you need to determine exactly why youre hesitant to pass along a solid recommendation on your friends behalf. Is he or she simply not a good fit for that particular position- or your company in general? Have you heard too many stories (from her) about her habit of using sick days after having a few too many happy hour margaritas on a Tuesday?Or, are you feeling somewhat selfish and dont want to share the perks and bragging rights of your amazing company with someone in your same circle of friends? Hey, we all get a little greedy at times. Its important that you take some time for self-reflection in order to figure out your specific rationale for feeling uncomfortable about putting in a good word. This will help you identify your best course of action for handling the whole situation. 2. Weigh Your OptionsTheres usually more than one solution to every problem- and the same holds true here. Your options range from putting your hesitations aside and passing along your friends resume (with a disclaimer to HR that, while you know the person socially, you cant vouch for his or her professional abilities) to being completely honest with your pal about your hesitations. Sit down and consider all of the befhigung methods for addressing this issue. Is there a different position within your company that might be a better fit for your friend? Can you agree to just pass along the resume, but explain that youll be excusing yourself from the hiring process? Imagine yourself actually following through with each of your options, and let the scenario play out in your head. Whats the absolute worst that could happen if you went that route? This exercise will (hopefully) make it pretty obvious which choice is the right one- no matter how difficult it might be. 3. Set Your Ground RulesNo, life isnt always fai r. But, in this case, you need to make a conscious effort to keep things as impartial as possible. Bear in mind that once you do something for one friend, another will likely anticipate the same treatment. If you dont play by those rules, prepare yourself for the firestorm of friend drama thatll undoubtedly ensue. So, nows a great time to set a personal policy for these types of situations. These guidelines will help to steer you through any similarly tricky circumstances in the future. Perhaps youve decided that youll simply never pass along a recommendation for a friend. Or, maybe youre comfortable with delivering his resume without saying anything about his merit or qualifications. Define some rules that make you comfortable- and then stick to them like your life depends on it. 4. Break the nachrichtensendungWhether the news is good or bad, communication is vital. So, once youve settled on your course of action, its time to loop your friend in on what youve decided. Theres no sug arcoating it- this likely wont be an easy or comfortable conversation.Remember how your grade school teachers would always preach that honesty is the best policy? Turns out that sentiment extends beyond the walls of your first grade classroom. So, be forthcoming with your friend. Of course, you dont need to tell her that you think shes terrible and that no self-respecting employer would ever want to hire her. Theres a difference between honest and brutal, after all. Instead, explain that while you value your relationship, you simply arent comfortable with mixing business and friendship, so you wont be speaking to your employer. Or, that youll be passing along the resume, but wont be getting involved in the process too closely- and therefore wont be able to keep tabs on how its progressing.Dont be afraid to seek out any alternatives that might help to cushion the blow. Did you recently see a job posting with a different company that you know shed love? Can you bring him as a guest to an upcoming networking event youre attending? They arent necessarily substitutes for a glowing reference, but theyll show your pal that you care about his or her professional success- without needing to worry about marring your reputation and good word. Turning down your friends request for a recommendation with your current employer is awkward. And, unfortunately, there isnt a magic pill thatll make it any easier. But, following these steps will help you navigate the delicate matter and escape with your friendship- and your professional reputation- unscathed Photo of eye courtesy of Shutterstock.